


My Kingdom Come

by EnigmaticAnomaly



Series: My Kingdom Come [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnigmaticAnomaly/pseuds/EnigmaticAnomaly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evandria couldn't choose sides in the war of Heaven and She paid the price. Now that the Apocalypse has started she is faced with the same choice: What does she stand for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> This sort of got out of hand and turned into something much bigger.  
> If you're looking for a short story with generic relationships, this may not be the one for you! :)  
> I own NOTHING.

“So… You want to summon an angel here that could potentially be working for Lucifer….” Dean asked as he, Sam and Bobby watched Castiel in silence with puzzled looks as the angel waited expectantly. What he had just proposed made very little sense from the standpoint of the hunters.

“Potentially yes.” Castiel nodded.

“No offence Cas, but that sounds like a really bad idea.” Sam sighed as he looked from the angel to his brother.

“Look, there is a good chance that she isn’t on Lucifers side. During the fall she didn’t choose a side, she may view our plight as a middle ground.” Castiel sighed and looked at Dean almost pleadingly. After a while Dean crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the ceiling. 

“Fine… Fine!” He put his hands up in surrender. “But we are doing this my way.”

****

It was strange when she heard it; no one had summoned her in ages. She wasn’t a popular angel like Michael or Gabriel, so no one ever prayed to her, let alone cast a summoning ritual with her name. She allowed the spell to pull her and appeared in a study of an old house. Books lined the walls; she could practically smell the age on the pages and mildew in the walls. 

As she turned to face who had summoned her flames flared up around her, forming a neat burning circle that she knew she wouldn’t be able to cross. She stared at the flames with mild annoyance before finally looking up to see who had forced her to come to this place and trapped her. Three men stood before her, two young and attractive by human standards and the third was older, in a wheel chair, with a surly face.  
They were staring, but she could hardly blame them. Being in a vessel for thousands of years, her grace had begun to change it, shine through in a way. The woman had been lovely and petite, with dark wavy hair and a dark olive complexion. Over the years her skin had taken a golden sheen, her face had filled out slightly and become more angular. The eyes were what had changed most. They had gone from soft and round to hard and angled, and warm brown had given way to fiery gold. She was able to hold her body with a feline grace instead of awkwardly like the other angels. Her grace had turned her small meek vessel into human visage of herself; fierce and beautiful.

“Evandria.” Her attention was drawn to the fourth in the room.

“Castiel… What are you doing with humans?” She was genuinely surprised to see the angel here. She looked between the four of them and smiled tauntingly. “Giving up on the heavenly fight?”

“You must know that-” Castiel was cut off.

“That Lucifer has risen? That Michael and Zachariah purposely started the apocalypse?” There was no hint of a smile on her face any more and those unearthly eyes were fixed on the other angel. “I am well aware.”

“What side are you on then?” The man with shorter hair asked; he sounded cocky and moved as though nothing could stand in his way. Evandria leveled gaze rested upon him but he did not waver.

“I’m not on any side, Dean.” She grinned and rolled her eyes when he gave her a confused look. “Yes sweetheart, I know your name.”

“We need your help, Evandria.” Castiel interrupted before Dean could reply.

“My help? I’m on the same level as you, Castiel. Lower even. I mean I refused to fight for heaven after all.” She tapped her booted foot on the floor and gestured to the flaming circle around her. “Worried I’m going to bite?”

“Sorry Sweetheart, but the muzzle stays on until we know you can be trusted.” The amount of spite behind the pet name made Evandria shoot Dean a glare.

“Why don’t you let me out and I’ll show you just how trustworthy I can be.” She shot back at him. The stubborn look in his eyes was eerily familiar.

“Look we aren’t letting you out until we know you aren’t working for Lucifer.” As the words leave Sams’ mouth Castiel lowered his eyes to the floor and waited. The name sent a shock down her spine, a feeling between excitement and anger. Evandrias’ eyes flickered to the younger Winchester, and she looked at him for the first time, really looked at him. She forced herself to forget just whose vessel he was. He seemed like a nice enough man, maybe too nice for what he was created for. He shrank back from the anger within them, silly since she was hopelessly trapped in the circle of flames.

“And feed into his arrogance? I would never take his side.” Her tone was severe and her eyes never left his. “Nor would I take Michaels. This is no heavenly war; this is children playing at men. They are sick of looking over the world for their father so they think they have found a way out. Children trying to worm their way out of responsibility by hiding behind the word destiny.”

The room went silent. Sam was trying to look anywhere but at the captured angel, Castiel and Dean were exchanging glances and Bobby was trying to look invisible. Evandria started to pace the circle and shoved her hands into her white over coat.

“Will you help us or not?” Castiel finally broke the silence.

“Help you do what?” She turned on him. “Do exactly what Michael would ask me to do? Kill Lucifer?”

“I fail to see how that is a bad thing.” Dean interrupted. 

“You… don’t exactly know who I am, do you?” Evandria gave him a questioning look then glanced at Castiel. “You didn’t tell them?”

“If they knew they would have never summoned you.” He confessed.

“Knew what?” The older man finally spoke up. “Who is she?”

“She was Lucifers Consort.” Everyone froze at Castiels words, even Evandria. It had been too long since she had been called anything of the sort. Feelings of regret and shame mingled with confusion and heartache. People who thought that angels couldn’t feel were only partially right. They could feel, just not as wildly and freely as a human feels. If those feelings ever got out of check they were made to beat them back down; couldn’t have their soldiers compromised. She hated the way they had to lock them away.

“You had us summon Satans wife?!” Deans voice snapped Evandria out of her thoughts. She bit back what she was feeling and looked back at her captors.

“Believe me, what you are thinking and what I am are two completely different things.” She offered in defense.

“So what? You’re like his mistress? His fuck buddy?” Again with his arrogance, his harsh movements that spoke volumes. She was beginning to understand why he was Michaels true vessel. Something in his face changed after her wary gaze met his and Sam smacked his shoulder.

“Dude. Stop being a dick.” She ignored his pitying gaze.

“Evandria, we have to find another way. We know now that only another Archangel can kill him, and they will all be waiting until the final day.” Castiel sounded like he was pleading. “There has to be another way to stop this.”

“I may know of someone who may have a solution.” She rolled her eyes as they all instantly perked up. “It’s going to take a lot of luck you don’t have boys, but if you let me out of this damn circle I will lend you some of mine.”

After a moment’s hesitation Castiel snapped his fingers and the fire was doused, not even leaving scorch marks in its wake. Before anyone had time to think Evandria appeared across the room, mere inches away from Dean, staring up into his face. He let out a startled grunt and tried to back away only to find he was too close to the wall. He stared wildly down at her steady golden eyes.

“The next time you mock me in such a way, I will cut your tong out.” He tone was not angry, it was level and almost pained. Dean glanced to Castiel then back to Evandria.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He let out a breath as she pulled away from him.

“I hope you are all well aware of how much I am sticking my neck out doing this.” He gaze fell between Sam and Dean. “I refused to fight at all last time, and now I am helping you fight what has been written in stone for eons, no one is going to take me in after this. Not heaven, not hell; no one.”

“Well, we are definitely grateful for whatever help you can offer us, Evandria.” Sams tone was kind but it didn’t melt any of the ice in her stare, though it might have in her heart. She gave him a long look that wasn’t scrutinizing or angry, just thoughtful and wary.

“I’ll be in touch.” She finally said to Castiel and disappeared to search for her lost brother.

****

Evandria sat quietly on the large boulder in a field somewhere in New Zealand. She had been waiting for hours, sending out silent calls every so often. She was sure if she kept the calls persistent and vague enough for a long period of time he would not be able to resist.

“I have to admit, when I felt that it was you calling me I was a little surprised.” She smiled up at the man before her. Gabriel had gone to great lengths to hide himself from the other angels but Evandria could tell by the sly smile and the confident stride that this was indeed the Messenger. He had changed his vessel since the last time they spoke.

“Yes well, better me than those Winchester boys.” She sighed. “Castiel taught them how to use holy oil.”

“Where were you yesterday?” The Archangel let out a humorless laugh. “Those jerk-offs caught me in a circle when I was just trying to make a point.”

“So they figured out what you really were?” She raised and eye brow. “I am surprisingly impressed.”

“I’m sure you didn’t call me here just to chit chat.” Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you want Evandria?”

“We were friends once… I don’t see why I can’t just call you to talk.” She felt a little shame creep into the back of her mind. It had been hundreds of years since she attempted to talk to her oldest friend; she was surprised he showed at all.

“Ev, we are still friends.” His tone was stern but his eyes were full of laughter as always. She gave him a hard look before allowing herself a small grin.

“I am sure the boys explained their situation to you, I seem to find myself in the same boat. I don’t want this stupid childish fight to ensue, I rather like this world. But… I would rather not see Lucifer dead in order to save it.” When she looked back to the Archangel his golden green eyes were sad. He walked over and sat beside her on the boulder, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together.

“You still love him don’t you?” Gabriels words were like an icy dagger to her chest.

“How would I know? I haven’t seen him in thousands of years, Gabe.” Evandria cupped her face in her hands.

“I wouldn’t blame you.” He caught her incredulous glance and smiled. “You can’t just choose not to love someone.”

“This isn’t what I called you to talk about.” She tried to fought keep the iciness from her voice when she spoke; Gabriel may have been her friend but he was still and Archangel, being rude wasn’t a good idea. “Do you know of another way? Someway to reverse all of this.”

“I might…” She could hear the trickster in his voice and rolled her eyes without looking at him.

“But you won’t tell me; typical, Gabriel.” She shot him a glare. “Seriously.”

“You won’t like it.” He warned. Biting her lip Evandria stood and stretched her back. She had a feeling where this was going and she didn’t like it.

“Tell me though; do you really want ‘paradise’? I mean it sounds so boring.” She decided to change the topic.

“You seem pretty decided that Lucifer won’t win this fight, Ev.” Gabriel was trying to see her reaction now, saying things so he could gauge where she stood.

“He can’t win, Michael is too powerful.” She looked up to the stars. If there was anything worth saving in this world, it would be the magnificent view of the universe it had. When she finally spoke again her voice was soft. “Any paradise where he is dead is no paradise to me.”

“What _do_ you want?” Gabriels voice was gentle now.

“Would it surprise you if I said I didn’t know?” They were both smiling now. 

“Not in the least.” His smug smirk told Evandria that he knew much more than he was letting on. 


	2. Old Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evandria couldn't choose sides in the war of Heaven and She paid the price. Now that the Apocalypse has started she is faced with the same choice: What does she stand for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with it!

Evandria found herself back in the old house at the junk yard. The older man in the wheel chair sat behind his desk and looked unfazed by her sudden appearance in his kitchen. She walked towards the desk, her boots clicking as she walked and offered him a small smile.

“Bobby, right?” He grunted in response. “The boys don’t happen to be around do they?”

“They’re out past Plymouth. Won’t be here for another four hours.” He looked back to the book he was studying.

“I’m not trying to be a pain but, could you call them and ask them to stay put for a moment so I could catch up with them.” He gave her a strange look, like he wasn’t used to be asked to do things n such a nice way. He picked his phone up grumbling something about not being a secretary and got her an address to meet the boys at.

“By the way, I have a few very old Enochian spell and mythology books that would make a good addition to your collection if you’re interested.” Something changed in the man’s expression and she smiled. “I’ll bring them the next time I’m around.”

With that she traveled to the address Bobby had given her and sighed. It was an old abandoned warehouse, no doubt dusty and disgusting inside. She slipped inside and looked around; Dean had driven the Impala inside and they were sitting on the nose of the car talking quietly.

“Evandria.” Sam slid off the hood with a wide smile that she tried not to return. She knew that he was Lucifer’s vessel and she had horribly mixed feelings about the whole thing. She wondered if he understood how strange this was for her.

“Bobby said you needed to talk to us.” Dean offered as he eyed her warily.

“I thought of a way we could stop this, and I have found someone who knows of the means to do it.” She informed them carefully. “It may take some doing to convince him to tell us.”

“Well, spit it out.” Dean sounded mellow but looked eager.

“We lock Lucifer back in the pit.” The boys’ eyes went wide. “Gabriel has made it obvious that he knows of a way to open it back up, I just need to convince him to tell me.”

“Wait, Gabriel? That little shit?” She ignored Deans outburst.

“Is it possible? Could he really know of a way or could he just be yanking our chain?” Sam was the more reasonable one.

“No… it’s entirely possible that there is another way to open the cage, I mean I didn’t exactly make it impenetrable with the seals and all. You would need an extremely powerful portal…” She trailed off at the look on Sams face.

“What do you mean _you_ didn’t make it impenetrable?” He asked slowly looking a little horrified.

“I mean…. I built it.” She glanced down in shame, wishing she had watched what she was saying.

“You built your own boyfriends jail cell?” Dean was too shocked to sound spiteful. 

“They get pretty creative with punishments up there believe it or not.” She couldn’t stand the pity in Smas eyes or the understanding in his brothers.

“What did you do to get that sort of punishment for?” Dean asked trying to sound like he didn’t care.

“I refused to fight against him.” She said simply. Evandria started pacing slowly across the warehouse floor, trying to clear her head enough to think. “Back to the point; I’m not sure what could open a portal powerful enough to do that. Gabriel knows, but getting something out of him is harder than wringing water from stone.”

“So we trap him in a ring of fire and leave him there until he decides to talk.” Dean offered.

“The apocalypse will be over before you get anything out of him, Sweetie.” Her eyebrows knitted together as she thought. “It was strange; it was like he wanted to tell me but he hadn’t made up his mind about something… That rotten little brat knows just how to get under my skin.”

“I hope you aren’t talking about me that way.” The voice behind her made her freeze in her tracks and the grace emanating from its owner was so familiar. She didn’t need to look at the shock on the boys’ faces and their sudden tense stances that the voice belonged to exactly who she thought it did. She turned and there he stood, his vessel was tall with short sandy colored hair and icy deep set eyes. She had never seen this vessel before but his grace and body language was more familiar to her than any physical body ever could be.

“It’s either me or Gabriel.” His smirk widened as he took a step closer. Evandria was frozen to the spot, torn between running to him and running from him. As he moved forward she felt Sams hand on her shoulder and Dean step up beside her. Bad move, she thought as she saw Lucifers temper flare in his eyes when Sam touched her.

“Sorry boys, not here for you. Not today anyway.” With a wave of his hand Dean was pinned to the side of the Impala and Sam to the sliding door of the warehouse just beyond it. Evandria never took her eyes off from Lucifer and never said a word as he walked closer. His eyes were calculating as he stood before her but his face was kind, a mixture that had always suited him quite well.

“A little rendezvous with our lost rebel boys, Evandria?” She ignored how he name sounded on his voice, still refusing to answer the question. His eyes narrowed at her silence and before she could react his hand gripped her arm. Just before she disappeared she heard the boys call out her name.

They stood in what could only be an abandon office building. The cubicles were torn apart, desks up turned surrounded by broken chairs and papers. A thick coat of dust covered everything in the dark room; no one had been here in a long time. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp and backed away. Lucifer made no move to stop her but she knew there was no way she was leaving until he allowed it.

“What are you doing?” Evandria demanded sounding much braver than she should.

“I figured you would be more talkative if were went somewhere private.” He explained calmly. There was something behind his tone that set the other angel on edge; he sounded strained, as if he were holding something back.

“And what exactly do we have to talk about?” She knew she sounded childish. She wasn’t sure if she should blame it on her angelic aptitude to be spiteful or on the thousands of years on earth where she learned to be petty. He watched her for a moment before sighing.

“So you’re siding with Michael and heaven?” His expression softened into a grin when she shook her head in disagreement.

“That doesn’t mean I’m on your side either.” She said quickly before he could get the wrong idea.

“I would expect no less.” He spoke in a condescending way that made Evandrias gaze fall to the floor. “What are you doing with the Winchesters?”

“They wanted to know the whereabouts of your little trickster brother. He caught wind of my presence and I lost him, I was there telling them it would be considerably more difficult to find him.” The lie slipped of her tong easily and she waited nervously to see if Lucifer would believe it. She wondered what he would do if he found out she was conspiring to put him back in the pit. Maybe he would kill her. Maybe he would drag her down with him this time; that sounded poetic.

“What do they want with Gabriel?” Evandria hid her relief once she knew he had accepted the lie. She felt guilty at how easily he believed it, not questioning her at all. Why should he? She was his after all.

“I didn’t ask. I was trapped in a ring of holy fire; I was only interested in what could get me out.” She rolled her shoulders back indignantly.

“They’re desperate men, Ev. Desperate men are dangerous.” Lucifer was mere inches from her when she finally looked back up. She could feel his cold breath across her face, her heart started to beat faster and a slow shiver made its way up her spine. That was what she enjoyed most about having a vessel and masquerading as a human; the physical aspect of it. The physical way emotions affected their bodies and the way another’s skin felt against your own. She wondered if Lucifer had learned these things yet, come to understand them as she had; Evandria doubted it.

“Tell me something, Lucifer,” She couldn’t find it in herself to flinch away from the hand that rested gently on her cheek. “Are you a desperate man?”  
His lips practically crashed into hers in a possessive, dominant kiss, his moth moving against hers slowly and deliberately. The feel of his stubble on her face and his slow cold breaths were almost intoxicating. The hand at her cheek slid around the back of her head and tangled in her hair while his free hand clamped onto her hip and drew her closer, closing the distance between them. Evandria allowed herself to melt into the kiss and enjoy the sensation, one hand on Lucifers chest and the other on his arm. She couldn’t pull away; no, there were still something’s she could not deny him after all this time.

When he reached out with his grace to touch hers it felt needy and urgent, as though the connection it sought were the only thing that mattered. She wanted so desperately to reach out in return, to give him anything he asked, but she pulled away and broke the kiss, much to his displeasure. It was a bad idea getting that close to him again, all of this could only end in pain for a second time. She gave him a pleading look and he gave her a small sigh as he lightly placed his forehead on hers, not letting go of the back of her head.

“Why do you deny me when clearly you want it too?” Lucifer asked as his hand slip from her hip to the small of her back. She looked into those icy blue eyes with her own warm gold and took a breath.

“I can’t get hurt again… I can’t lose you again. It’s better if I just don’t have you.” As his arms encircled her, Evandria buried her face into his shoulder, the side of his face rested against the side of her head. It would seem like such a strange gesture for The Devil to any normal person, but anyone who knew Lucifer before wouldn’t be surprised. Not when it came to His Evandria. 

“You won’t lose me, I’m staying right here.” He began to leave small kisses across her neck and Evandria knew he meant on earth to start the apocalypse, but for a second she let herself believe it was to stay with her. She let herself forget about the fall, of all of those years she spent alone and almost believed this was the angel she loved.

“No Lucifer you don’t understand…” She tried to back away but his hold was firm as he trailed kisses along her jaw.

“Then show me.” He demanded as he pulled away enough to face her. Again, he reached out with his grace and this time Evandria pushed back. She felt his overwhelming sense of loneliness from being in the pit for all this time, an overwhelming need to be close to her. She could feel his ravenous need to destroy and all of the anger he held towards his father and the other angels. Oddly enough none of that hate was for her, Evandria, the one who had crated his prison, the one who would not stand by his side. No hate at all, just bitter understanding.

She pushed forward all of her feelings shame and resentment. She held so much shame for such a lower level angel; she had denied both heaven and her lover, been forced to imprison him and virtually shunned from her home. She held so much resentment for those who treated her different after the battle of heaven, those who’s scrutinizing gazes chased her out of her home and to earth.  
Without Lucifer she was little more than a ghost, she had no one after his fall who would associate with her. In one fell sweep she had lost everything, all because she couldn’t choose. On top of all of the shame there was the intense feeling of being inadequate; unable to take a side, unable to find a side to fight for. She was tired of constantly running, but would not take a stand.  
When he finally drew back Evandria could not look him in the eye. She hated herself for opening up to him but she felt as though a weight had been lifted from her chest.

“You’ve carried that guilt around with you for this long?” Lucifer finally asked. She couldn’t answer. “Evandria if you had only came with me, if you came with me now-”

She jerked back, suddenly very aware of how suffocating close they were, how his hands on her neck and back were pressing a little too hard. She hadn’t realized what he was trying to do until now; he knew she was weak and alone because he had been too. She stepped back, detangling herself from his arms and fixed him with a hard stare. Once she was away from him she felt her mind clear up, as though she had been standing in a haze. She began to wonder how she ever said no to him all those years ago.

“I told you I won’t choose a side.” Evandrias voice shook. She was beginning to feel Sam and Deans praying for her, calling for her to come back; she wondered if they had called Castiel.

“Ev…” But she wouldn’t hear it again, she had heard this speech thousands of years ago.

“I would like to leave now.” She interrupted knowing all too well that any other person would be incinerated for treating him in such a way. When he just watched her with a sad look, like he knew it would end this way, like he had been hoping for too much she swallowed hard. “Unless you are planning to kill me for refusing to join you.”

“Why must everyone see me as the bad guy?” Lucifer moved closer to her but she shied away. “Evandria, I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Please don’t make this any harder, Lucifer.” She said his name like a plea as she gazed into those eyes that were an eerie match for him. Something in them changed when he took a slight step back, like a light going out. Without another word he reached out and tapped her forehead, sending her through empty space.  
She wound up back at the warehouse she had met the boys at, standing right where she had been. She could had traveled on her own, she wasn’t sure why Lucifer had sent her off like that, then again no one ever understood why Lucifer did the things he did.

“Evandria?!” Sams voice drew her attention from staring into space. She whirled around, surprised they had stayed there but even more surprised when she felt water roll down her face. She lifted a hand to her face and whipped a tear away and both brothers ran to her.

“Are you alright?” Sam sounded worried but she was too focused on the tear.

“Angels don’t cry…” She said quietly as she finally looked him in the face.


	3. Angel Wings and Human Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evandria couldn't choose sides in the war of Heaven and She paid the price. Now that the Apocalypse has started she is faced with the same choice: What does she stand for?

She sat in an arm chair, staring out the window across the junk yard at Singer’s Salvage. Evandria had driven back with the Winchesters, she wanted time to think and the four hour drive had provided her with just that. She was feeling quite vulnerable and for some reason she couldn’t think of a place she would feel safer than this dingy old house. A few days had gone by and she found herself unwilling to leave, Bobby didn’t seem to mind, she had a feeling he enjoyed her company.

“If you stay here much longer I may start chargin’ ya rent.” She lifted her head from her knees to look at the man in the wheelchair. She had kicked her narrow toed boots beside a book shelf and had her knees pulled up to her chest. Her white pea coat was draped over the back of her chair, revealing the deep red sweater dress and thick black leggings underneath. Evandria looked plain, not anything special, not unless you looked close.

“That would mean I’d have to get a job.” She smiled when she saw him place one of the books she had brought him on the desk and start flipping through the pages. Bobby laughed and shook his head.

“You ain’t like other Angels.” She tilted her head at the statement.

“In what way?” Evandria pulled her legs closer to her chest.

“Well…” Bobby looked for the right words as he flipped through more pages of the book. “Ya just seem more human. You understand a hell of a lot more about us then Cas does. And you ain’t a complete dick like the others either.”

“Well I have been on earth for a few thousand years; Castiel has only been in his vessel for maybe a year.” She smiled thinking of the awkward, stiff way the other angel acted. “I’m just more comfortable in my vessel.”

“Not just that, you’re kinder.” Bobby fixed her with a knowing gaze.

“My time on earth may have changed me, but never doubt that I am still an Angel to be feared.” Evandria chided.

“Yes ma’am!” He raised his hands in defeat. 

Just as she began to put her boots back on to go out for some fresh air the boys showed up with Castiel. Automatically she knew something was up the way Dean was walking with that determined expression on his face. They all began a heated discussion about Dean wanting to say yes to Michael.

“Dean, you can’t say yes.” Evandria fixed him with an almost pleading look. “You-“

“Why, because you want to save your little boyfriend? News flash sweetheart: He’s the freaking Devil! Him dying isn’t exactly a bad thing.” She should have known better than to take anything Dean said personally but the words shot through her. She clenched her fists against her grace that was threatening to overwhelm her, she felt the house begin to shake and hear wind in her ears.

Without a word and without seeing their reactions she spun on her heel and stalked out the door, not bothering to grab her coat. Once out on the porch she took a deep breath and started pacing frantically. What on earth was happening to her? She couldn’t keep her emotions in check when some halfwit human said something mildly insulting? She had heard worse, much worse from those in heaven, so why was this bothering her? Maybe it was because it was the truth and she refused to see it. Maybe because it was what that voice in the back of her mind had been saying all along. 

“Evandria!” Sam came out of the house looking around wildly but relaxed when he saw she was still there. “Look Dean just-”

“No. He’s right.” She wished she didn’t sound so defeated. “I know its right, what you are doing, saving humanity. I have lived as one of you long enough to realize that our father was right to favor you. Your feelings aren’t as deep as they could be but they are so wild and free and amazing. You question everything and demand things in ways that angels never would. You serve no one.”

She stopped suddenly when she realized she was rambling and gesturing wildly with her hands.

“You feel like any human does, both you and Cas. And you both question things.” Sam pointed out as he leaned against the railing.

“And see where it gets us? We are shunned from everything we know.” Evandria crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Is that why you came to earth?” Sams eyes were kind and inviting. “You were ‘shunned’?”

“When Lucifer fell, nothing was the same. He and I were so close; the whole garrison assumed I would stand at his side, fall and become his ‘Dark Queen’.” She spat the term sarcastically and rolled her eyes. “They were all shocked when I did nothing, Lucifer most of all.” 

“Why did they treat you different I you didn’t choose his side?” Sam asked as she leaned on her elbows on the railing to stare out at the dirt road. “I mean you didn’t fight against them.”

“I didn’t fight for them either.” She grinned when Sam made an indignant noise. “After he was defeated, I was forced to construct his cage as a show of faith and obedience to an Ever absent God. I realize now that maybe it wasn’t God that commanded it; but we may never know. Even after that no one trusted me; it was like they were waiting for me to blow. Like just because my lover fell, I would too. I won’t lie I thought about it, I thought maybe being down there with him would be better than being up there with them.”

“So you decided Earth was a better compromise. Makes sense.” Sam shrugged and she smiled. He suddenly gave her a nervous sideways glance. “So uh… your vessel… you said you have had it for thousands of years. Is she still….”

“Oh no, Arissa has been dead for many years.” Evandria sighed. 

“Arissa?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, that was her name. It’s really a sad story behind how it happened, but long story short she said yes to me if I eased her passing. So I’m alone in here.” Her eyebrows knitted together at the last statement, she was so use to the body that it seemed like a strange thing to say. 

“I know Dean is an ass… But Evandria,” He turned so he was completely facing her now and she glanced up, still leaning on the railing. “You still have us. You don’t have to be alone.”

“I… Thank you.” She looked away from him awkwardly. He lightly touched her shoulder before heading inside and Evandria suppressed a shiver. 

She found herself aimlessly wandering around the decrypted cars trying to find a reason why she had spilled out her whole life story to Sam Winchester. He was a very kind, albeit miss guided boy. What she was most worried about was her realization that she counted herself amongst the humans. She loved this world and any paradise the other angels had in mind would be hell to her. Back to all the wary glances and hushed words.

Evandria stopped dead and felt her body go cold when she noticed a figure watching her. Standing next to a powder blue 2 door sedan was Lucifer, his gaze was steady and calm like always. She stood there staring at him wide eyed for a while, unsure whether she should move away or say something.

“Leave this place.” Her voice was dangerously protective when she finally spoke. Before he had a chance to answer Evandria felt a sharp pain in her chest and a strange pull that didn’t feel quite right.

“They don’t play fair, Ev.” Lucifers tone was warning. “They play dirtier than I do.”

“What? Who are you talking about?” She was still confused by the sudden disorienting feeling she was having. “Don’t you feel that?”

“Michael and Zachariah.” Judging by the way he dismissed her last question with little worry she assumed he could. “Gabriel isn’t the only one who likes to play tricks; don’t fall for theirs.”

“Why are you telling me this?” She took a few steps towards him when she saw the blistering wounds around his face but forced herself to stop.

“Enemy of my enemy and all that.” Lucifer waved a hand dismissively and vanished. Evandria began to understand what she was feeling; she had felt the same thing the time that much power was used to drag Dean out of the ground. 

When she reached the house Castiel was carrying in a filthy young man and giving her a wary look. The boys looked shell shocked and explained that this was their half brother, Adam. When he woke up he explained that Zachariah had told him he was Michaels new vessel.

“Evandria, could this be true?” Castiel asked her urgently.

“It isn’t ideal, but…” Castiel closed his eyes at her words. She thought of what Lucifer had mentioned. “It may also be a trap for Dean… Playing off of his self sacrificing need to protect his family.”

“You could have said that a little nicer.” Dean snapped at her.

“It’s the truth. And the sad part is that it will work because that is what you do: You are so self hating that you would take the place of some kid you hardly know and bring on the apocalypse.” Evandrias tone held no kindness for the hunter.

“Hey, why don’t you stop assuming you know what I’m gunna do.” Dean rounded on her.

“Because Dean, you are a predictable fool with a one track mind.” She stepped forward so she was mere inches from Dean.

“Keep the insults comin’ baby.” His grin was cocky but she could see in his eyes he had already resigned to bitterness.

“Alright ladies,” Bobby interrupted. “This aint gunna help a thing.”

Evandria waited for Dean to step back before stalking to the other end of the room to lean on the wall.  
Hours passed and they all just milled around the house, trying to think of anything that could stop the angels from using Adam. To her mild delight they had decided to lock Dean in the panic room until they could figure something out. 

She was sitting at Bobby’s desk pouring over some old books with little hope of finding anything other than a way to calm her nerves. She glanced up and her eyes fell on Adam. Evandria suddenly felt herself begin to lose faith in all of this. If the other side found another vessel and he wasn’t one hundred percent on their side it spelled chaos. She felt he chest constrict and her hands clench around the leather bound book as her palms began to sweat. She was worried the foundation of the house would begin to shake again for the second time that day.

“I have to go.” She said abruptly to the room

“What? Why?” Bobby looked from her and back to the book.

“I need to get some affairs into order.” She stood and grabbed her coat, as she walked by Adam he watched her untrusting eyes.

“We could really use your help here, Ev.” Sam frowned when she flinched at the nick name.

“It’s Evandria.” She said without looking at him. “And you all managed just fine without me before. I will be back when I can.”

****

It took considerably less time for Gabriel to answer her call this time. She had chosen a thick forest in England to sit on a fallen tree and wait. The call she sent out was loud and desperate, so when the Trickster Angel finally showed up his eyes were full of worry.

“Ev, what’s wrong? Your Grace is all crazy.” He knelt in front of her.

“I know what I want.” She said almost desperately, Gabriel gave her an expectant look. “I want the humans to live, I want to save this world and I want to stay in it.”

“That’s a pretty definite answer for you Evandria.” He seemed uneasy.

“You know Zachariah has raised the Winchesters brother; Michael will have a vessel whether it’s Dean or Adam.” Evandria reached out and took his hands in her own and looked up at her with warmth. “I know you don’t want this world to end either, Gabe.”

“You really like those Winchesters don’t you.” Gabriel shook his head, trying to change the subject.

“Humans are the only ones who have shown me kindness in over five thousand years. I don’t want to see them die for some forced paradise.” She searched his eyes. “I’ve been feeling more human. I cried the other day. And I have been feeling in different ways.”

She frowned when Gabriel let out a loud bought of laughter.

“Ev… We have always been able to feel like humans feel; just not all of us could handle it. Besides, soldiers with feelings are ‘weak’, just ask Cas.” He smirked. “There’s nothing wrong with a human heart. After all, they are daddy’s favorite race.”

“Gabriel, we have to pick a side now. I never wanted to but now I realize that I can’t just sit back and hope for the best, I have to try if I want this to turn out right.” He was smiling widely at her now.

“I like this new Evandria.” His smile turned into a smirk. “You finally care about something.”

“I’ve always cared. I was just too afraid to do something about it.” They both stood and as Gabriel started to walk away she placed a hand on his arm. “Will you help?”

“We’ll see.” He gave her a classic smirk and a wink before he disappeared.

****

When she appeared back at the house Bobby just about jumped out of his skin, he had obviously not expected to be seeing her any time soon. She had been gone for over a week when she went in search for Gabriel and a way to end the apocalypse. Evandria was endlessly annoyed when the Archangel wouldn’t give her the answer she was looking for.

“I am no further to finding a solution that I was when we started.” She informed him when he asked what she had found out. She threw herself into the armchair and sighed. “But I promise I will die trying to stop this.”

“That’s a pretty serious promise there, girl.” Bobby eyed her with concern. “When you angels put yer mind to somethin’ there is no stoppin’ ya.”

“No, we get out stubbornness from being around you hunters too much.” Bobby grinned at the statement but she couldn’t return the gesture, suddenly she was feeling a pulling sensation. Someone was praying to her: Help. She felt sickened when she realized it was Gabriel. She left without a word, leaving the older hunter completely baffled.

She appeared in the dining hall of a nice hotel just in time to catch a gut wrenching scene. Lucifer was holding the back of Gabriels head and Gabriel was clutching to Lucifer in a desperate way. Both of their faces were contorted into looks of horror as the Archangel blade in Lucifers hand sat lodged in Gabriels abdomen. When Gabriel caught Evandrias gaze she almost saw a kind of a smile in his eyes before he fell to the ground. She watched as his grace dissipated and his wings burnt into the floor. The blood in her vessels’ veins turned to ice and she felt as though cotton filled her head hindering her ability to think.

“Evandria…?” Lucifers incredulous tone drew her attention. If she didn’t know any better she would say he looked heartbroken…

“ _No._ ” The word came out in a savage breath, the only word she could muster. She threw herself at Lucifer, flinging him onto a table and crouching over him with her long silver blade at his throat. She knew she was nowhere near powerful enough to fight Lucifer but she was running on pure rage. “ _Why?_ ”

“Evandria, _stop._ ” He demanded with his hands up out in surrender.

“ _Tell me why!_ ” She shrieked as she pulled her hand back and hit him across the face with the butt of her blade. He caught her arm after and threw her across the room. Evandria rolled and regained her footing, standing ready to launch herself at him again.

“Because he was in my way!” Lucifers composure was gone as he hollered at her; any form of regret had left his features. “He was standing for the scum of this world!”

“Then kill me too, because I will die protecting them.” Her voice was level and determined. He stared at her in blatant shock as he took a step forward, reaching out to her. He stopped when Evandria drew back.

“I could never harm you, Evandria.” He sounded as though he resented that statement. She wasn’t sure if he resented what it meant or if he resented having to say it.

“You’re going to have to.” She lunged unexpectedly and pinned him to the wall, but before she could strike he knocked the blade from her hand and rolled her onto the wall. He pinned her there roughly, an icy hand clamped round her throat and her back digging into the paneling or the wall. Her feet still touched the floor but not enough to get leverage; she was stuck with those livid blue eyes piercing through her.

“No, my Love,” It was her turn to feel shocked. “I won’t.”

His tone almost sounded defeated and she realized something; he was still the man she fell in love with. He had gone through hell, literally, and come out different but it was still him. He still loved Evandria like he did before he fell, and that was why this was hard for him. He should kill her, and he certainly could, but he wouldn’t. Lucifer was having the same problem she was. Only now, with Gabriel lying dead on the floor, she had the hate she needed.

He leaned forward and caught her lips in a crushing kiss, open mouthed and teeth grinding together. She could taste the desperation on his lips and feel the pent up anger that he would never take out on her. She pushed back with her own anger, telling herself she was only doing this to escape. When she tried to disappear he held to her arm, unwilling to let her leave just yet. He pushed her against the wall again just as roughly as before, pressing his body to hers and barraging her with his Grace. Evandria felt his resentment and extreme need, but what was most overwhelming was his wounded longing and love. 

“Stop…” She pleaded against his lips when he softened the kisses. “Lucifer.”

She shoved him a little harder than she intended, once he was about a foot away she disappeared. 

****

She knew the boys couldn’t have gotten far so she searched for the impala in the surrounding towns. Evandria found them and stood by as they watched the video Gabriel left. He explained about the portal, the rings and that Evandria would have the incantation to open the portal. She sighed and shoved her hands into her pockets as she started down the road. 

“Wait, you aren’t gunna help us?” Dean turned to her and dropped his hands to his sides. “Look, Evandria I know I’ve been a dick but I’m sorry, okay? We really need you on this; don’t give up on us now.”

She turned to face him and they saw just how broken she was. When they first met she stood before them as a strong entity with an air of pride and power, now she stood before them broken down and tired. She wondered if they understood. It was her fault Gabriel was dead, she had convinced him to take a stand, and though he helped and gave them a way to stop this, he had died. And that was on her.

“I’m not giving up, Dean. I just need to be alone.” Her voice was gentle, gentler than it had ever been with the hunter. “I will bring you the incantation when I have figured out what book I have it in. You don’t need me right now, but I will be there when you do.”


	4. Till the Bitter End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evandria couldn't choose sides in the war of Heaven and She paid the price. Now that the Apocalypse has started she is faced with the same choice: What does she stand for?

Sam sat on the steps of Bobbys’ home with a beer; he seemed deep in thought and Evandria knew why. He had just had another fight with his brother and the older hunter about saying yes to Lucifer in order to get him into the pit.

“It’s a reckless plan.” She grinned when he jumped at the sound of her voice behind him. “But honestly, it’s the best plan you’ve got. And that isn’t saying much, Sweetie.”

“Yea… well we have to try.” Sam scooted over as she sat beside him on the step. She watched his hair ruffle a little in the night air and wondered what it felt like.

“You know… once that portal is closed there is no coming out.” She studied her hands clasped in front of her, then looked at his clasped around the beer bottle. Hers were child’s hands compared to his massive ones.

“I know. And you know that’s it for Lucifer too, he could never leave.” Sams concern confused her slightly but she understood what he meant.

“It’s for the best.” Evandria glanced up at him. “He’s strong you know.”

“I get that,” He laughed humorlessly. “But I think I can handle it. I have too.”

“If it were anyone else saying that to me I would laugh in their face.” She gave Sam a small smile when he looked at her. “If anyone can do it, it’s you Sam.”

“I’m glad someone has faith in me.” When he smiled she studied his face; his hazel eyes crinkled at the edges and his smile seemed to take over his whole face. “You know, you are the only angel that hasn’t looked at me like I’m a monster.”

“Oh come on, Castiel doesn’t treat you like that.” Evandria bumped him with her shoulder.

“First thing he called me was ‘Sam, the boy with the demon blood.’” Sam laughed at the memory

“Castiel didn’t know any better then, Sam.” She gave him a sympathetic look. “Many angels are like that, but we aren’t all like Zachariah, Uriel and Michael.”

“You’re different though,” He set his soft hazel eyes on her. “You didn’t look at me with any assumptions.”

“I have to tell you, It was strange for me at first, almost painful, to look at you. I knew who you were and what you were meant to do. You are the vessel for the being I am helplessly in love with, and that was what I saw when I first looked at you.” She confessed then smirked at his awkward cough and continued. “But I did not look upon you with distain or apprehension when we first met because you were simply a human man; one that was thrown into this mess and manipulated in cruel ways. You never chose this Sam. And it is out choices that decide what sort of person we are, not ‘destiny.’”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Evandria, but I have made some pretty crappy decisions.” When he shook his head she lightly touched his knee and he stared at her.

“Yes, you have, but you have chosen to fix your mistakes. That says a lot more about your character than making all the right decisions. You have enough courage to admit you were wrong and do something about it.” Evandria heard what she was saying and realized what she was talking about. Then it struck her; Sam was nothing like Lucifer and it was strange to her that he would be chosen as his vessel. Lucifer had made a choice and instead of repenting and making it right he took the punishment for it. Sam had made a choice and was now facing the repercussions by trying to right his wrongs.

She hadn’t realized she had been staring at Sam, but the longer her eyes traced every detail of his face the stronger the feeling in the pit of her stomach grew. Evandria reached out and turned his face so he was looking at her, surprise filled his eyes. She leaned up and placed her lips gently on his and he seemed sort of shocked. He finally kissed back and placed a hand over hers. Sam’s touch was warm and inviting, not cold and demanding like Lucifers.

“I had to see what it was like.” She explained after pulling away and smiling.

“And?” Sam chuckled as he pulled her hand back into his. Evandria watched him do so in puzzlement before she remembered that humans did that as a sign of affection. She was surprised to realize that she had never held someone’s hand like that before.

“I liked it.” She smiled coyly and he leaned down and kissed her this time. Sams kisses were gentle and persuasive, it was a nice change of pace for once.

“Woah, Okay.” They pulled apart when they heard Deans voice; Evandria grinning and Sam stuttering. “I was not expecting that when I came out here.”

“Jealous, Dean?” Her question took him off guard and he stammered a ‘no’ as she stood to face him.

“Why are you kissing my brother?” He crossed his arms like a child, so protective of his brother.

“Because I wanted to. Do I need a reason?” She laughed at both their expressions. “Honestly boys, I am and angel not a prude.”

They all walked into the house and Evandria stopped short when she saw Bobby standing in the kitchen. He was _standing._ She smiled sadly at him when she could see the deal burnt into his skin, where no human could see. He gave a shrug back.

“So you have all of the rings?” She asked tentatively. Dean produced the four rings that were now stuck together and she grinned. “Good old Crowley, finally useful for something.”

“You know Crowley?” Dean gave her a wary look.

“For as long as I have been around, there are very few beings that I don’t know.” She grinned and began to write the incantation down on a piece of paper. When she finished she handed the paper to Dean. “The spell was in one of my older books in Amsterdam, took me a while to find it. Let me know if this crazy plan works, will you?”

“You aren’t coming with us?” Castiels brow furrowed.

“I think it’s a better idea to keep me as far away from Lucifer as possible.” She smiled sadly. “Besides, it’s all up to Sam, once Lucifer is in there, there is nothing the rest of us can do.”

“So what? You’re just checking out?” Sam sounded vaguely hurt.

“I’ll be around if you fail.” She spoke gravely. “But if you succeed this will be the last you see of me.”

“Well no offence, but I hope this is the last time we see you.” Dean smiled when she turned to face him and to his surprise she wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a tight hug.

“You may feel like your heart is breaking, Dean Winchester, but yours is stronger than most. You may feel as though you are doing the wrong thing, but you have done the best you can and it’s better than we could have hoped.” He froze at the words she whispered into his ear but he hugged back and when she pulled away he was giving her awkward but appreciative glances. 

“I left a few more books for you in your study, Bobby.” She grinned at the old hunter when he mumbled a thank you, then her eyes turned on Sam. Evandria wished she could take his place; she could handle Lucifer in the pit for all of eternity but she was afraid for Sam. She knew the plan had a little hope in succeeding, and if it did Sam would get shafted. Whether it worked or not, he was consigning himself to a horrible fate.

“Good luck Sam.” She gave him a sad smile and turned to leave. As she walked by Castiel she reached out and gripped his shoulder, then she was gone.

****

Evandria wandered through the city deep in thought and on edge. The streets were filled with fog that glowed yellow in the street lights and not a soul was out on the streets. It was the time between late at night and early in the morning that didn’t quite have a name. She hadn’t felt Lucifers grace leave this plane, but then again the boys may not have gotten the job done yet. All she could do was wait and drive herself crazy with nerves. That was why she was out at this ungodly hour, the cool air helped to clear her head.

“Evandria.” The voice behind her belonged to Sam Winchester but the cool, precise tone belonged to Lucifer. She stopped her brisk pace and closed her eyes when she realized what had happened. They had never had much hope; she had always put too much faith in those boys and now she was faced with an even harder choice than before.

“Lucifer.” When she turned to face him she did nothing to hide the sorrow on her face. She was looking at Sam, and yet everything that had made him Sam was gone now; everything that was Lucifer took its place.

“Oh don’t give me that look, Ev.” Lucifer rolled Sams eyes and stepped forward.

“Like what? Like you are about to ruin everything?” She saw her words cut through him but he only sighed and placed his hands on her arms lightly.

“Don’t you understand?” He was leaning down, cool breath on her face as his forehead found hers. He reached out with his grace and she allowed it to come in contact with hers but did not push back. It was Sams lips that brushed her when he spoke, no longer warm but much more familiar. “I may destroy this world but I will remake it, I will make it better.”

She knew what he meant; she knew the unspoken words that hung at the end of that sentence. He was seconds away from asking her to join him again. It was so overwhelming, speaking to Lucifer like this, when it was Sam who was holding his Grace. Evandria wanted so bad to reach out and hold his face and tell him it would be alright, but it wouldn’t be Sam getting the message.

“No, I do understand Lucifer.” She pulled herself from his grasp; surprisingly the act wasn’t as hard as it had been before. “It’s you that doesn’t.”

“Oh please. Enlighten me.” He fixed her with an annoyed gaze that Sam wore well; he was getting tired of being denied.

“Are you one hundred percent sure that you can beat Michael?” She took guilty pleasure in the anger that flashed across his face.

“He doesn’t have his true vessel like I do.” Lucifers grin was malicious.

“Answer the question.” Evandria crossed her arms over her chest in determination.

“You think I want this?” He gestured wildly. “I don’t want to kill my brother!”

“Answer the question, Lucifer.” His eyes met hers and something seemed to snap. She could see the exact moment that he realized what she was trying to do.

“This fight is as undecided as any Evandria.” Sams eyes were alight with Lucifers anger now. “But I know you are as decided as you could ever be. What happened to not choosing sides?”

“I didn’t choose yours or Michaels.” She didn’t flinch away from him like others might have. “I chose my own.”

“So… The last being in the whole cosmos I thought I could trust finally betrays me. I should have seen it all along.” His words cut deeper than she thought they might.

“Betray you? I am trying to help you, you pompous arrogant prick!” The words left her mouth before she could stop them, her voice shrill and eyes alight. Lucifer looked taken aback so she took the chance and barreled on. “ _You cannot win this!_ This war _is_ decided! You will die at the hands of Michael because he has always been stronger and they will have their _disgusting_ paradise! I have been trying to save you! When I agreed to help those boys I _refused_ to do anything to kill you. This was the only way to save you. From Michael and yourself!”

“So you will throw me into hell _again?_ What a wonderful way to ‘save’ me.” He stepped forward menacingly but Evandria stood her ground.

“There are worse fates than hell for our kind, or have you forgotten that Lucifer?” The glare she got would have pierced through the hearts of most, but her gaze remained unwavering upon the Devil.

“What does it matter to you?” His eyes were calculating and cold. Evandria knew he didn’t mean the question but it hurt her just the same.

“If you no longer exist, it doesn’t matter where I am, Heaven, Earth, Paradise; I will always be in Hell.” Her words seemed to surprise him. As they stood in silence she began to realize how selfish she was being, preferring to lock him in hell then to live without him existing. She kept telling herself it was to stop the apocalypse. 

“You cannot stop this, Evandria.” His voice was firm but surprisingly gentle.

“I know I can’t.” Their eyes met and an unsettling silence fell between them this time and they came to a mutual understanding. “But I won’t stop trying.”

“I know you won’t.” Lucifers stare was cold, strange in Sams normally warm eyes, but Evandria could see the sorrow under the mask. Then, he was gone.

****

“What’s the plan?” Evandria walked around the Impala as Dean jerked his head around, startled at his appearance. He had just gotten done fighting with Bobby and Castiel about going to Lawrence to be on the battle field.

“Evandria? What are you-” He didn’t seem to be catching up.

“You failed. So I came back.” Evandria spoke with the amount of authority she had when they first met. “We _are_ trying again?”

“Oh so it’s _we_ now?” Dean shot at her.

“I am on your side here, Dean.” She pointed at him in annoyance.

“Evandria, this is suicide.” Castiel stepped towards her and tilted his head when she laughed.

“Anything we do right now is suicide, Castiel.” She looked between him and Bobby now. “The question is do you want to die sitting on your ass and cowering in the corner, or go out trying to make a difference?”

The three men looked between each other awkwardly as she waited expectedly for some form of an answer. Evandria felt reckless and she felt herself smirk slightly as she realized how very _human_ that was. She wasn’t sure where it was coming from; whether it be from the need to keep Lucifer from dying, from wanting to help Sam or from wanting to make sure that Gabriel didn’t die in vain. All she knew was that ‘Team Free Will’ needed a kick in the ass.

“I’ll meet you in Lawrence.” She said to Dean who nodded before getting in the car. She turned to the older hunter and the other angel with a convicting gaze before disappearing.

****

Evandria watched from the trees, heavily cloaked, watching Lucifer and Michael converse. She imagined that they could feel her presence in some way but then again many angels we probably watching this, just at a safer distance. She had no idea what she was going to do; she had no hope in a real fight, which was why she was counting on the others to show up. If Dean could get through to Sam there could still be hope.

Just as things were about to get heated she heard the rev of an engine and rock music; she suppressed a grin as Dean drove onto the field. He was alone and that irked her, where was Bobby and Castiel? As if on cue she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Are ya ready ta do this?” It was Bobby, Castiel right behind. Evandria grinned and made them appear next to the Impala, just in time it seemed. Michael was moving angrily toward Dean.

“Hey! Ass-Butt!” Before anyone could say or do a thing Castiel hurled a lit bottle of holy oil at Michael who dissipated into flames. Evandria stared at Castiel then looked at Dean and mouthed ‘ _What did he just say?_ ’

“Ass-Butt?” He said to the other angel who just shrugged.

“Castiel, did you just Molotov my brother with holy oil?” Lucifer advanced on Castiel who backed away.

“Luci-” He waved his hand and suddenly Evandria lost the ability to speak, as though she had forgotten how.

“I am _sick_ of your medaling, Evandria.” His wrathful gaze lifted from her and then to Castiel. “No one dicks with Michael but me.”

With a snap of his fingers Castiel exploded into pieces. She felt the warm blood splatter across her face, in her hair and onto her cloths. Evandria stared in horror, unable to make a sound. Dean began to speak to Lucifer, trying to get through to Sam but he wound up thrown onto his car, smashing out the windshield. As the Fallen Angel advanced, gunshots flew over her shoulder and into Lucifers back. She couldn’t blame the man for trying but it was a terrible idea; in seconds his back had been snapped just by a twist of Lucifers hand.

Evandria ran at him with her blade in hand but found Lucifers hand at her throat and her blade scalding hot, too hot to hold. She dropped the blade and stared at Lucifer as he suspended her in the air. She waited for him to smite her; she was practically pleading him with her eyes to do it.

“Why…. Must you try to force my hand?” Lucifer whispered, he sounded raw and broken but his face was contorted in anger. Suddenly she fell limp in his grasp, as if she lost all control of her muscles. His grip loosened and he dropped her to the ground, she fell like a ragdoll onto her side. She could look around but she could not move her vessel; Evandria was trapped in a fleshy prison.

She watched on in horror as Lucifer approached Dean. Lucifer started beating Dean to a pulp as the hunter frantically tried to get through to his brother. As Evandria heard the smack of fist hitting flesh, the snap of bones, the splatter of blood and the pleas of the human she began to cry. Tears dripping sideways from her golden eyes into her dark hair, creating tracks in Castiels blood splatter on her face. She could see Bobby’s lifeless body from the corner of her eye and that was when she began to do something she hadn’t done in years; Evandria began to pray. It was a strange prayer, not to any deity or angel, but from an angel to a human. She was praying that Dean could do this, get through to his brother and stop all of this.

And they were answered.

Gasping, Lucifer stepped back from Dean, only it wasn’t Lucifer anymore, it was Sam. Evandria regained power over her body once more and shot up, taking her chance to run at Sam. He was too disoriented from overtaking Lucifer; all he could manage to do was tell Dean that it was alright. She dug her hand into his pocket and grabbed the rings. 

Throwing them on the ground she rattled out the incantation and stood back. She tried to ignore the voice in the back of her head telling her that she was jamming Lucifer into Hell for a second time; that she truly was betraying him this time. Instead she watched sorrowfully as the boys exchanged looks.

As Sam readied himself for the fall Michael appeared to stop him, still bent on this biblical fight that he had waited for since Lucifers fall. She remembered the day Michael had struck his brother down and demanded her to make the cage. This was eerily similar and she began to hate herself for letting history repeat history repeat itself. But this was better than the apocalypse, surely the heart ache of one angel was worth the lives of six billion people.

What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. As Sam let himself fall backward all she could see was Lucifer falling again and she felt a stab of pain in her heart. What caught her by surprise though was Michael lunging forward to grab Sam as he fell. She wasn’t even aware of herself screaming Michaels name until she finished the word. Sam grabbed hold of the Archangel and they fell together into the cage.

In shock, she muttered the incantation to close the gate and stared at the rings for a moment. Evandria finally turned to Dean and tried to look at his face to heal it but he pushed her away with very little force. He staggered up and stumbled to where the portal had opened; refusing any help she tried to offer. They sat like that for a long time, Dean kneeling and staring down at the rings and Evandria slouching against the Impala, staring as well.

Lucifers presence was muted again, she could hardly feel his Grace from where he was in hell, but at least it was there. She felt the weight of what she had done, betraying her love to hell for the selfish reason of not wanting to exist without him. Evandria could tell herself a million times that the reason she did this was to save the world, but what was the point in lying to yourself?

When Castiel appeared she could sense the power emitting from his vessel and was happy for him. He had been accepted back to heaven. Castiel healed Dean and when he asked if the angel was god Evandria felt the corner of her mouth quirk up. How could she be smiling in the middle of all this grief? 

“It’s a nice compliment but no. But I do believe he brought me back. New and improved.” He walked over and touched Bobby’s forehead, bringing him back to life.

“You have been admitted back into heaven.” She gave him a sad smile.

“Yes, but why haven’t you?” Castiel seemed truly troubled.

“Because sometimes black spots on your soul can’t be erased.” They stared at her blankly and she sighed. “Because… I still love him.”

“After all of this?” The other angel seemed to be on the verge of anger and she cast her eyes downward, unable to meet his gaze.

“Cas.” Dean put a hand on his shoulder and gestured towards her shamed expression. Castiel looked away apologetically.

“Where will you go if you still can’t go back to heaven?” Bobby seemed concerned, as if the ten thousand year old being would lose her way in the world.

“I haven’t been to Tuscany in quite a long time.” Evandria looked away thoughtfully. She need to find somewhere she could be alone to think and be alone, for a very long time. Maybe not in Tuscany but it was as good a place as any to start; she imagined she would have better luck in Egypt, maybe locked away in a lost pyramid.

“Italy…?” Dean gave her a skeptical look and she grinned.

“You guys take care of yourselves.” Evandria bit her lip and thought hard before saying the next part. “If you ever need anything, just give me a call.”

“Thanks, Ev.” Dean said placing a hand on her shoulder, the hurt in his features still present. She bit back the need to correct him on the nick name and smiled before she disappeared, in search for a secluded place.

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending is really weak, but thanks so much for reading!


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